*names have been changedI'M BACK!!!!! I just talked to my bestii
brows so I'm feelin good! My music choice for this particular blog is combo of plies and the dream. with that said...onto the blog.
Aite...for u to get what I'm goin thru now I gota take u back to summer 08.
*~*time travel noise*~*
Ok..it all starts with my ex/bestii
c.f. One day he calls me and asks me to come over. If u kno me and
c.f. at all (or just boys and girls in general) then u kno what he was calling me for. I was busy so I wasnt really tryna go over. but I lovies him a bunch! So i finally agree to go over since I hadnt seen him in a while and school is drawing near. I get there and we laugh and jokey joke for a while. then we get down to business. when it's time for me to go we just kinda make small talk like
c.f.: "o so what are u doing later? u wana come over?"
me: "Sorry I can't but I'm going out with some friends"
c.f.: "oo...well....I'm goin out with carson" <--WHOA..just the two of them? thats kinda gay lol But I go on with my day visiting friends and what not. I text c.f. the next morning cuz i just bought him a gift and i was really excited to talk to him. I jokingly ask "how was ur date?" And he responds with "who told u?!" and im like "wtf..so u really did go on a date?" and theres this long drawn out talk about that. Then im like "fuck it..i really dont feel like talking to u right now. bye" a couple days go by and i finally text him and tell him that i'm not sure if we should continue our so called friendship cuz it's obvious that he doesnt value it the same way i do since he so readily crudded me like that. another couple days pass and i feel kinda bad cuz we've been thru so much together and i wasnt sure if i was just ready to end our friendship like that. so i text him and tell him that i dont forgive him or anything but i wasnt ready to kick him out my life. blah blah blah. after this kinda blow over a little bit...my other bestii goose (and also c.f.'s right hand) tells me that he likes me and that he thinks we should be more than friends. UGH!!! can i NOT escape? so i move on with my life..and my friend...
d.d. calls me and says u should come over and chill with me. so im like AITE! i need to take my mind off things. so me and my friend
t.f. go over there and thats where i meet brows (well not really meet cuz we sorta knew eachother from flowers) so we drinkin and playin cards and me and brows start talkin and gettin close. and he mentions and certain red head boy
binky that we both kno. i end up drivin home sorta twisted but hey. so me and brows talk like every night and it gets to the point where i'm sneakin out the house to see him (^_^ FUN FUN) we get really close hence his title BESTII. so we chill and stuff stuff for a while when one day he hits me with "yea...u kno how i was supposed to be goin to NC this weekend? I'm not coming back"
[this is me haivng a mini-panic attack in my head]
im pissed about this for a couple days.
then things seem to go a little smoother for a while..and i call my other bestii
frankie to watch gossip girl (btw..me and
frankie have a years worth of history)
we get thru gossip girl with no shanangins. but when one tree hill comes on thats another story.
then a week later i see me lovie
rose in the library. and like 10 minutes later i see
frankie walking toward our table. him and
rose leave together. about a week later me,
rose, and my little
z are watching gossip girl. then
rose asks me to tell her about
frankie. WHOA...how is it that always talks to someone that i know? so everytime i would see
rose she always talked about
frankie . that got annoying! but i got over it. then she calls me and asks me to meet her at the diner. she tells me that
frankie dropped her like a hot potatoe (not her words lol)
turns out my yellow friend
frankie wasnt ready to give up his playa card [at
rose's expense]. and now that
rose is out of the picture for the most part me and
frankie are back to being bestii's (not with benefits; just bestii-ness). Then i sorta kinda meet
calvin. and we get close..he's kind of a slow mover but he's cool.
THEN i start talkin to this dude from my middle school,
beagle, and he's a real clinger. real quick. like..he's tryna wife me up off a facebook convo. WHAAAAAT?! thats crazy talk.
Now I'm back to
goose...we went out the other day to go get some stuff from PG. and when i drop him off at his friends house..HE KISSES ME ON THE CHEEK! i was so caught off guard..but deep down inside i kinda liked it. BUT...i cant bring myself to actually like him back because i dont want to hurt
c.f. like that..that would crush him. and now i dont kno what to do!!!
goose has been my bestii from the jump. and i dont want to kick him out of my life ever! he's great. but...i just CANT like him and i feel like if i spend more time with him then im gona eventually start to like him..not just as a friend. i hate confusion like this. it blows days! and this is where im stuck now...i need a job..a bf...and some answers! help..
